metamemphis does not stay here

BORAT

2006-11-08T17:08:00.000+05:30

I managed to get some time out to go through 16 clips from the movie and heres the 2 sample clips that I found it quite funny...Hope you guys like it too!

Clip 1:

Clip 2:

Apoo says: don’t miss this movie at any cost. and after looking at all these clips I agree with him.
Cheers..

Iyer is now engaged!!

2006-10-16T17:49:00.000+05:30

Can you believe that?

But yeh, my friend mah bro, Arun Iyer is now engaged. As in that ceremony where a guy and a girl exchange rings!

That means from now on he;

1.) “wont be the single owner of Iyer education”
2.) “will still be all in one laughter shows”
3.) “will still calls a small dog his horse, but will have to hire a real horse for Sapna (his fiancée)”
4.) “hopefully will feel weird wearing boxers and visiting a 5 star hotel”
5.) “soon will have to share his room with his wud be wife”
6.) “who used to stay at andheri and used to call us every time he is bored and will continue to do so!”(Damn he is pakao man :P)
7.) “who will forget the habit of spitting in a hotel, if he gets to know that he has to shell out Rs.90 for booze and Rs. 120 as VAT/ Service Tax”,
… man the list is long.

Congratulation Bro!

cool stuff

2006-07-27T15:27:00.000+05:30

Know more

Cheers..

Yes we are fools... hehehehe!!!

2006-07-18T17:36:00.000+05:30

It seems the Indian government has blocked a list of 18 URLs including blogger.com, giving the most obvious reason saying “some terrorists are using blogs to communicate”

I think the person who even thought of giving that reason has gone mad. .Here is a piece of my experience.

Through some resource I came to know that you can access your blog through http://www.pkblogs.com. When I tried accessing my blog through this URL, I could by-pass the firewall at the ISPs end. Not only that, I could click on the “view comment “link and go through the comment page too. If the government has blocked blogger.com, how could anyone access the comments URL that starts with http://www.blogger.com!!! And we are talking about security!!! “terrorists are using blogs to communicate!” …

Comment page screen grab:

Alternately I could also access my blog through a proxy IP. If the terrorists can use RDX and a time bomb, they can very well use a proxy to access their blog and “communicate”..

I don’t know if I should laugh at this whole thing or start making money out of it … at least I wont have to say “me paying tax and not getting anything in return!”

And ohh, as you can see ... i could post this article through proxy :P..how smart and efficient is our government

At least we got our Share of Voice

2006-07-15T13:00:00.000+05:30

An article in todays Times of India:

"Mumbai says it’s payback time

Mumbai: We’ve been giving so much to the exchequer, it’s embarrassing. It’s humiliating to have to remind New Delhi, and even the state bosses about this majority contribution every time we are drowned in or blasted by catastrophe. But most galling of all is to keep giving crores, and getting cowries in return. Mumbai is tired of saying, ‘Forget the Centre, we’ll simply manage with our own resources’, or even, ‘Forget the state, we’ll pull together on our ind ividual push’. But this time the Mumbai voice is different. And angry. What it’s saying is ‘Forget all those syrupy noises about our spirit. Just show us the money. We don’t want the empty assurances, or even the well-meaning intent. We want the action. Give us what it takes to guarantee our security.’ The TOI has known the city longest, and sensed this mood change rightaway. On Thursday, we asked, “How much more can we take?’’ This has hardened further to, “We want our share, and we want it now.’’ Or even, “If we don’t get, we won’t give.’’ The trade-off is disgustingly skewed. We have to keep pulling out those oft-repeated statistics. Mumbai contributes 31% of income tax, 60% of customs duty and 20% in central excise collections. We pay Rs 54,000 crore in corporate and personal tax and income tax. What has Mumbai been given in the past five years? Nothing. Last July’s deluge left the country’s most powerful metropolis looking like a marooned Bihar village, partly because central or even state funds have not been sanctioned to upgrade our groaning utilities.

No way to treat India’s dream destination

After Tuesday’s ghastly blasts, Ground Zero applies to our tolerance of official callousness towards our personal safety, our human dignity. Money, material and mindsets are all found wanting in all the agencies appointed to guard us, the Mumbai police, the Special Intelligence Branch, and even the elite ATS. The police is still in ‘gangster mode’, unable to penetrate the more sophisticated, and unbreakable, terrorist. The quality of intelligence gathering and policing is stymied by political bosses, internal rivalries, and transfers based on every factor other than right qualifications. The ATS has to depend largely on the IB, which is not answerable to the state. The ATS was set up only at the tail end of 2004. In 1993, 13 blasts killed 257 people, and blew holes into our most symbolic landmarks. Between 2002 and 2003, a series of interlinked blasts rocked seven areas, including the iconic Gateway of India. And now 7/11, a strike as audacious as 9/11 or 7/7. Compare the flurry of tightening and toning in New York and London compared to our flaccid response. Mumbai (and Maharashtra) got its dedicated ATS over a year after the 2002-03 set of blasts, the GIS/GPS technologies were set in place just a few months ago. For the first time, money has been sanctioned to get training on post-blast probe. A woman ACP left for Louisiana on Friday, the crucial ATS man dropped out. Not only has the dog squad not been reinforced, the ATS doesn’t have its canines. The same ones have to sniff out narcotics and explosives. Is this any way to treat what is still the country’s commercial capital, and the drea, destination of every Indian?

"

Thanks TOI

STOP

2006-07-12T12:59:00.000+05:30

Am sure most of your must have heard of 8 consecutive blasts in Mumbai local railway trains yesterday. Mumbai local trains, considered to be the life line of the city saw 8 bomb blasts in just 11 mins, taking life of around 180 people and injuring more than 450.

Just to give u a sense of the situation- total number of people traveling by these trains annually are twice the entire UK’s population. This means, these trains can carry the entire UK population to and fro, 2 times over. WOW, that’s a huge number. And I am wondering how come someone can even think of taking innocent lives in such a barbaric manner. Each compartment carrying 300 people. Think about it, its sends shivers down your spine.

For more information on the blasts, you could log on to any of Mumbai’s news papers and read on. The whole idea behind me writing this blog is not as a result of what each of us have gone through. Yes, now all of us know that when the time comes every mumbaikar will be on their toes to help others in need. But the unfortunate part is, from the news reports which I have been seeing since yesterday evening resonates the feeling of “All you Mumbaikars are CHUTIYAs”.

To my understanding for running any company successfully, everything boils down to people management and cash flow. Unfortunately, the Maharashtra Government and the Indian Government have failed to do so in case of Mumbai (I know in case of many other cities, but this article is about Mumbai).

During last year’s 26/7 mishap, one thing that came out openly was Mumbai single handedly paid 40% (Rs. 5,800,000,000,000) of the country’s over tax. And in return when this whole rain thing happened, Mumbai was granted just Rs. 50,000,000,000 (just bout 1% of the TAX amount Mumbai paid) from the Central government. Obviously, in this case we have rights to ask why the fuck!?

With yesterdays 8 bomb blasts, the State Government announced to reimburse Rs. 1 lakh per head or should we say dead head! to the family members and Rs. 50,000 to all those people who suffered severe injuries. The Railway Minister, Mr. Laalu Prasad Yadav said families of all those people who died in yesterday’s bomb blasts will get Rs. 5 Lakh from the Railway ministry and injured ppl gets free treatment! One thing I sense out of these statements is, yaar hum kya chutiya hai! All blasts happened in first class compartments. Ppl traveling by first class compartments pay 10 times more fare as compared to the second class compartments. So it is safe to guess that average annual income of guys traveling by first class wud be around 5 to 6 lakhs. Toh bhenchod, kya bada kaam kiya by announcing that their families will get Rs. 6 lakhs! And from their annual income most of them also pay their taxes regularly. Chal announce kiya toh kiya, I hope they don’t put any tax on the reimbursement.

People present at the incidents say cops and relief team did not reach on time and on the other side the government says because it was the peak hour time and lots of traffic their officials could not reach. Am wondering how these TV reporters managed to reach their on time! With their huge truck like vehicle with dish antenna mounted on it! Today we have many people alive only because they got timely help from the locals. Otherwise the death toll would have been much more en the official number of 180.

Yes, agreed the disaster management kicked in real soon and the government could take control over the situation fairly quickly. But again the question comes is, how efficient our intelligence department is! One can understand one blast, chal 2 blasts, but here we are talking bout 8 blasts in just 11 mins.

Another thing that really bugs me is this whole mobile phone network jammed scenario. Just to give u the back ground, they have some term called spectrum in case of cell phone network. It seems the protocol the Indian Government has approved per spectrum can support around 1 lakh phone connections simultaneously. In one of the interviews, Mr. Mittal from Bharti telecom clearly said that right now the need is that every spectrum should support at least 7 – 8 lakh connections. And all the cell phone service providers are ok with investing in hardware that can support the same. But the problem is again the approval from the government. I would like to request the government to open up and let us know what the difficulty in approving such system is. It’s as simple as, better spectrum or whatever will mean better connectivity. If I am paying for the service with 12.2% TAX, I wud like the return to be better if not the best.

My only question is, u pay tax for every bloody thing u own or use and if at the end of it this is what u get in return, is it fair? Mumbai ke TAX ka paisa jata kidhar hai!!!

Last Sunday, someone threw some garbage on Mina tai’s (Mr. Bala Sahib Thakres wife) statue and all Shivsena workers got “angry” and blew up a Volvo bus and also created a chaos across Bombay. As these news channels were covering the incident, I hear Mr. Manohar Joshi sayin “Gussa toh niklega hi!” I want to ask him, where were your shiv sainik yesterday, when this city really need all support and help? After all this injustice, your workers don’t feel the need to get angry and do something bout it? Or are they really dumb and they don’t understand any of these things and they work only on ur commands?

After the incident, all the ministers want to come over and take a good look at the scene. I say we don’t need u at this moment (and I guess Star News will also support me with this). We want the entire police department to work on securing the city and not each one of YOU. PLEASE UNDERSTAND.

Last but not least, please STOP SAYING “SALAAM MUMBAI” for the way it reacts to every sad situations. Ones u help others, u r good. Twice u do, u r champ. Thrice, u r God. After last years rains and these bomb blasts, we know we are champs and we will be there when our city needs us. But you don’t want us to be GOD. Please DO NOT let this city die coz of these things.

GOD BLESS!

Youtube rocks

2006-07-11T17:45:00.000+05:30

my fav. sport and it rocks. kinda kicked bout this movie.

heres the preview.

All you guys must go n watch the movie, even if its just for kick sake.

DO NOT drift your car in public. Otherwise, make sure you dont kill yourself :P.

Krrish Bloopers

2006-06-24T14:32:00.000+05:30

Baithe baithe kya kare,
Kar na hai kuch kaam
Shuru karo blog writing
Leke prabhu ka naam.

om om om-om
om om om-om
om om OM
OM om-om

I would have liked the movie if
1.) … Just once SRK would have said the word “Kkkkkrrish”;
2.) Saas Bahu and “K” fame, Ms. Kapoor would have produced the flick;
3.) Priyanka would have looked a little better;
4.) Someone could have solved the following puzzles for me
a.) What is the config of that computer through which one can communicate with Jaado?
b.) How did Krrish manage to wax his chest in spite staying in some remote village, where even having a phone is a luxury!
c.) How did Krrish manage to get a Singapore visa in no time!
5.) I would have known if Krrish is an Indian or Russian or Italian. By the name he sounds Russian, and with long hair he looks Italian.
6.) Why did Priyanka wear really short skirts in a place that looked like theAlps
7.) I knew who made a fool of those 7-8 advertisers!
8.) Star Network would have been a better place to work, it seems if u are 5 days late on your pre approved period, you get sacked! With out even asking the true reason. holiday
9.) If “Finding Krrish” process would have been much more logical in the way it has been portrayed in the movie.
10.) There would have been more fighting sequences in the movie than lovey dovey songs and scenes
11.) I knew how some company managed to sell 5000 Krrish dolls in first 3 days of its launch!
12.) There would have been little less ridiculously presented funny scenes.
13.) The kid sitting next to me would have been awake(come on man, even I need some source of entertainment)
14.) Mr Roshan would have not copied quite a few scenes from Hollywood movies like Superman, Spiderman, Minority report….. the list just goes on
15.) Krrish would have been more creative in designing his mask, rather than robbing some broken mask.
16.) I would have had better company(Iyer, total offence bro :P)
17.) The theatre would have been close to my place
18.) Petrol would have been a little more cheaper
19.) Roads would have been little less congested
20.) Way to the theatre would have been leveled.
21.) There would have been street lights on the way to the theatre.

OK enuff of rubbish.. on a more serious note please go n watch the movie provided if you have solutions to the above mentioned points :P

Adios

Zara hat ke, Zara bach ke .. Yeh hai Mumbai meri jaan

2006-06-01T20:00:00.000+05:30

Morning while reading the newspaper I came across a very cool article on sorta history of "Mumbai Taxi walahs" .. thought I would share with you beautiful ppl.

76-yr-old B S Naik has been driving taxis for 50 years. He now drives down memory lane for TOI

“I came to Mumbai from Karnataka in 1948. There were no traffic signals then. I got my license by proving I knew what was right and what was left and other things.

Before 1948, Mumbai’s taxis were divided into two segments: big and small cars. In the 1930s, big cars like Chevrolet, Dodge and Ford plied as taxis and used to charge 50 paise (USD0.01) per kilometre; it was considered very steep. They were yellow and black, just like today.

Models like Morris Minor, Austin and Auxel came along in 1952. The Landmaster (the company that made the Ambassador) came in the mid-1950s and was followed by the Hillman. These smaller taxis charged 6 annas (INR 0.75 paise, USD 0.016) per kilometre. Private taxis, called khajgis, also ran without the meter.

The uniform, complete with the cap, was compulsory. The cap gave way to the Gandhi topi after Independence and continued till 1960.

In 1949-50, Mumbai’s population was 25 lakh and the city extended till Mahim on the Western Railway line and King’s Circle on the Central Railway line. Two thousand big cars and less than a thousand small cars formed the taxi service of Mumbai till the 1960s and they were considered sufficient. No private car was visible from Colaba to Nariman Point in the 1950s. Even filmstars like Om Prakash did not own cars. But there were a few exceptions; Nargis owned a white Mercedes and Suraiya owned a green Dodge. Tanga was the popular mode of transport from Kalbadevi, Bhendi Bazaar and Zaveri Bazaar.

There was a time when the footpath was used for walking.

The municipality washed it in the Port area early every morning. A two-foot distance from the footpath was mandatory to park the taxi.

Those days, people were cultured, educated and polite. Today they are all models, drunkards, gamblers, bar dancers and thieves.

I have eaten a good meal called “rice plate’’ with 1 anna. In fact, 1 anna (INR 0.062 paise) was enough to run a house for a day. Today, even Rs 100 would not suffice. Obviously, the city has grown very expensive for the common man. I see the common man harassed, tired and coming from places like Virar and Vasai, which never really existed. People are pouring in from stations, buses and you find them atop trains and spilling over on the roads. Earlier it was more spacious and relaxing.

Not long ago in the 1980s, a Borivli-Bandra drive used to take me 20 minutes. Now, with so many flyovers and overbridges, it takes me two hours, sometimes more. (This is so true)

However, despite all the problems, there is still some good left. Mumbai’s taxiwalas are the most honest compared to the entire world. (Ok I really don’t agree with him on this)"

I don’t know why, but I found this article so cool and interesting. Heres a bit of pictorial Tour down the memory lane.(*Courtesy Mid Day)

Church gate then (dome shape building on the left is the railway station)

Nariman point then

Nariman point now (i do 160 kmph on this road :P)

More pics, you may visit Mid-day.com.

I love this city man ... regardless of all chaos blah blah blah blah ... it rocks...

Cheers.

Hi, kem cho(how u doin)?

2006-04-18T11:32:00.000+05:30

Hello People, How u doing?

It’s been a while I have not updated this blog of mine. The reason being there is a lot happening in my life right now, and really haven’t got a chance to sit and write about anything.

To sum it up, I have quit my earlier job, and have been engaged in a new startup. Details on the new venture will soon be posted. Till en I would want you all to have a look at this song. It’s a song from the movie Gangster … n has been playing in my mind since past two weeks .. I think it has potential to be a hit. What do you think?

Let me know…

Cheers.

Food for thought.. Courtesy my dear friend Madan AKA Maddy AKA Bhai tum sign kar te ho ya nahi?
Constipation = Long time no shheee :P

Mill-a-Mall-a-Maal

2006-03-17T14:24:00.000+05:30

This topic may sound boring to many of you, but I have been thinking about it since yesterday night after watching a TV show on it.

Long ago:
One upon a time Mumbai was considered a hub for textile mills in India followed by Surat and other places. That time people who owned the mills made a fortune out of it, but as we know life revolves around a circle, so is any business. The time came when the textile mill business doomed here in Mumbai due to reasons unknown to me. That left 30,000 people unemployed. I like to believe that there after some disappointed souls went back to their native places and have started farming, some smart asses have joined political parties and some are taxis and auto rickshaws driver now. It’s really sad to hear stories of some really poor families who are still suffering from financial crises because the person working with mill could not find another job.

It is said that out of those 30,000 people, 16,000 have been paid their remuneration, leaving 14,000 people begging for their money till date. The mill owners are ready to pay money to the remaining lot, but for that they will have to shell out close to Rs. 200 crore (2 billion!!!) from their pocket, and they claim that due to heavy losses they had suffered during declination period, they are left with very little money to do justice to 14,000 not so lucky people.

During those days, every mill used to have their own union, whose job was to fight for mill workers rights (and take their cut while settling down certain issues with the mill management). Every union consisted of some 10 – 15 good and smart bargainers, headed by a person who proved himself to be the smartest of the lot.

Not so long ago:
Anyways, getting back to the story, after a few harsh decisions taken by whom so ever to shut down mill operations, textile mills land was of no use for several years.

One day one smart ass (read: owner of former Phoenix mills, and now High Street Phoenix), gets up and says I want to build malls and multiplexes and what not to make this a “happening place”. I don’t know how he did that, but if you see, right now it is the most buzzing place across Mumbai. As of now, you have 3 huge malls, 1 super market, good knows how many restaurants, quite a few multinational corporate offices, couple of places show casing cutting edge furniture ….. the list is long. Now they are building a tower on the parking lot, which itself was as big as one foot ball field. Now in the tower they gona have first 3 levels for parking, 4th and 5th , shops for branded products and from 6th onwards a 5 star hotel!!!

Looking at this success, now every mill owner wants to follow the trend. From what I hear, there are places building 22 new 5 star hotels and god knows how many malls!

Fair enough, anyways we Indians are more of followers and less of leaders. (I hate to say this…)

Now:
After god knows how many months, finally the Supreme Court has given a go ahead to mill owners to trade off their own land. Now the problem is, we have a group of people who were against this decision saying, “We, Mumbai-ites need open space in the city, so all these mills should give away a part of their land to the government to build parks. Or they should do it themselves for the betterment of the city.” (Apart from paying those 14,000 poor people). They also suggested building housing colonies for poor and middle class people on the empty land (poor – middle class does not include 14,000).

If you think from your heart, this sounds absolutely perfect. But on second thoughts, you realize that these suggestions are absolutely ridiculous. For example if I buy a car, and tomorrow someone comes up and says, “You have a car, so you not only give me ride every day, but also pay me X amount for giving you company.”
Nonsense isn’t it? I worked hard, my family supported me all the way, I don’t even know you and you want to make a fool of me!

Anti-mill space trading people say that;
1.) Mumbai needs open space
2.) Mumbai needs wider roads
3.) Mumbai needs gardens
4.) …

I say, yes, Mumbai needs open space, wider roads, gardens, parks etc etc… But that by no way means mill owners should give away 60% of their land in charity. Here is a calculation,
Free mall land area: approx. 400 acres,
Rate per acre: approx. Rs. 300 Crore (3 billion))
Total: 400 * 30,000,000,000 = m bad at math

60% of “m bad at math” goes in charity much before the 40% that will go to mill owners!!! Am sure that not fair to the mill owners.

Firstly if these mill owners do not give away anything to the society, and make money in god knows what unit, eventually they will have to do charity to save on tax if not for the sake of humanity. (Like everyone does, from Bill gates to tata to Birla to Ambani).

On the other hand, assume 60% of the land is donated to build residential building for poor and middle class people. Will they be able to afford the monthly maintenance? Today in Mumbai, minimum monthly maintenance per Sq. Ft. is Rs. 1 – Rs. 1.5. Assume the poor have been given free flat, and middle class at low cost, but the question is will they be able to maintain their houses shelling out minimum of 500 – 600 rupees a month?

Damn.. third page of this post. Anyways, what am saying is, am not taking the mill owners side, am not against anti-mill land trading group, I do sympathize with the poor .But for god sake; poor people are poor, not crippled. Please do not make it a habit for them to be a pile on all their life. Please don’t try and be their bosses, give them their own space to make it big in their life. Show them a way, don’t show them the destination. I am not saying mill owners should build only malls, 5 star – 7 star hotels or multiplexes. I am not sure if its tuff or not tuff, but if Dhiru bhai Ambani can do it, if Owner of Bharti Group, Mr. Mittal can do it, why can’t others. Agreed to a certain extend it’s a game of luck, but at least give them an opportunity to give it a shot!

But on the second thought, for poor people or even for that matter for people like me, starting from scratch especially when your age is not on your side is extremely difficult.

Don’t know … it’s just a thought that has been playing in my mind…..

F.I.M.E. Awards

2006-03-07T16:25:00.000+05:30

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So, what the hell, leap!?

Hello and welcome to the FIME Awards. Oh oh don’t go away these are no way close to the millions of awards going on everywhere. They are awards that have people from everyday life. Interesting isn’t it. Just read on

FIME awards (read Foot In Mouth Excellence) honors individuals who have contributed generously to the field of being foolish. You find all kinds who consist of this great universe. I have short listed a couple of people who I feel fit the bill to the T. Theirs are instances that show their love for being foolish and overtime has become second nature to them .

Let’s have a look

First Finalist: Mr. CEO

The story begins with a party scene. Where CEO of a very well known technology company hears a word called Web 2.0. (Web 2.0 is supposed to be a natural progression of the architecture and application development for the internet). Unfortunately, Mr. CEO just hears the word Web 2.0, and has no idea what is it all about.

Next day morning he calls the Tech head of the company inside his cabin.

CEO: Listen Tech head, I want the progress report for the on going project.
Tech Head: Yes sir, it’s READY and I will send it to you by TOMORROW MORNING.
CEO: If it’s ready why will you mail me the report tomorrow morning!!!
CEO: Anyways, I’ve called you to figure out from where can we get Web 2.0?
Tech Head: Huhh!!! Buy web 2.0???

Now that’s what I call a perfect way of making fool of you. ;)

Second Finalist: Restaurant Owner

A very well known restaurant in Mumbai wants to advertise so they call in a media planning agency to design a media plan for them. The Business development manager (BDM) of the agency meets up with the owner at a pre-fixed time.

BDM: Hello Mr. Owner
Owner: Hello!! Hello!! I have heard of your company a lot, that’s why I decided to do all my advertising work with your company.
BDM: Yes Sir, that’s so smart of you.
BDM: So Mr. Owner how have you been marketing for your restaurant till now?
Owner: Arre marketing is never an issue. Every morning I go to the fish market with my wife and buy different types of fishes ourselves.
BDM: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (W.T.F!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Am sure you would have nominees to add to the list. Go ahead add the growing list of foolish population and let’s see who takes the cake.

Cheers.

Take see number. 9211

2006-03-04T16:17:00.000+05:30

Yesterday I saw this movie called Taxi No. 9211, staring Nana Patekar, John Abraham, Samira Reddy. Trust me this movie has specially thanked so many people leaving an impression that it was made for free. It also provoked me to write a song on an incident that happened with me back during my school time.

As usual I could not come up with an original tune so I had to get inspirited by “The man who sold the world – Nirvana”.

Before I actually start the song, this name Nirvana sounds so funny to me. I mean imagine if you have form a band here in India on the lines of Nirvana, what would you call it? I don’t know about you fine people but in my mind I can think of only one name, “Do you want water” No please don’t come up with so many questions at the same time. Let me explain you the logic behind it.

1.) The original name reads as NIRVANA.
2.) Break that name in to 2 parts, so now you have NIR and VANA
3.) NIR (its actually Neer, but to justify the logic I am contemplating it as Nir) in tamil means Water
4.) Vana AKA WANA
5.) So now you have Neer Wana
6.) Neer Wana = Do you want water

Phew, ok I know. Sorry. But see it’s logically correct, isn’t it!

That was a PJ, and as they say one action leads to another. So let me ask you a question, what is the opposite of Metallica?

Think hard people …

Think think …

No, I wont make it look like one of those forward forward mails also after hearing Nirvana logic no one must be in a mood to think … so here’s the answer.

Opposite of Metallica is Mebaalwalika.

Metallica = Mein tali ka = I belong to a baldie

Opposite of I belong to a baldie is I belong to a hairy freak = mein baal wali ka = mebaalwalika

Thus, opposite of Metallica is Mebaalwalika is proved. ;)

So now coming back to the song. Actually you know the songs from this movie are quite time pass, not THAT bad. Two of them are pretty melodious. Trust me when I say that guys, I have learnt Tabla and Key board so I have decent taste in music ;).

Damn! What am I talking? Where am I going? We are talking about the movie. You know the biggest conspiracy behind the US – 9/11 tragedies! Yesterday after the movie I realized that who so ever was the master mind behind it actually got inspirited from this age of Indian proverb “Chal, nau do Gyarah ho jate hai” (Let’s fuck off from here). But that’s not important, the important things here are these numbers, 9 2 1 1. Trust me; the whole thinking must have begun from here. 2 air crafts, on 9/11. Haan, yes see now you get the idea.

Ok enough of nonsense, coming back to the point. The movie is quite ok. I liked John Abraham’s suit. And Samira Reddy as usual looks fairly hot. Another thing that I noticed is one of our fellow blogger distinctly resembles Samira Reddy. I don’t know if I can take the liberty of posting the fellow blogger’s name here. But all in the name of true sportman spirit, I think there are quite a few similarities between Madame Mahima and Samira Reddy. Especially the jaw line…

So in the movie you have John staring opposite Samira. And the missing character in the movie was Circuit from Munna bhai MBBS, Arshad Warsi :D. How I wish if the director of the movie could have taken Arshad instead of John!

Regardless of my random crap, I seriously have a song, but I see now this article is so long that I have decided to post the song in my next post.

Till en … keep building nonsense logic and have fun.

Cheers.

Why won’t you understand!!!

2006-02-15T15:16:00.000+05:30

Valentine’s day!

Some of us like it, rest of us don’t.
Some of us agree, rest of us don’t

But the thing to look upon is, how fair is it to impose our belief onto someone else?

Read this article and tell me what you think of it.

A bunch of people, part of a political party attacked kids and women. Why? Just because they were celebrating Valentine’s day! I mean hello! They were not doing things which they are not supposed to do in public. It was just a musical concert. Period! End of the story. En why should this unethical, nasty, nonsense piece of crap happen!

My parent’s and one of my friend’s wedding anniversary falls on 14^th Feb, so if I go out with my folks on that day to celebrate is it wrong? Winny’s birthday is on 14^th Feb, so if she wishes to celebrate her birthday on that day is wrong?

I don’t understand what these guys are trying to prove! Ok you belong to a political party, its part of your job to follow your party’s ethics and rules, but does that mean you beat up people and tear women’s clothes in public? Beat up kids? Damage expensive instruments? Rob jewelry?

My office is at Lower Parel, which now –a- days is like the hub for all media agencies and quite a few publication houses. Zee news office is also just a few blocks away from my office. Last week, I don’t know for what reason, hundreds of people of the same political party gathered out side Zee news’s office and started throwing stones at the news vehicles parked out side the office and some of them actually managed to get inside the office and broke office furniture and computers! W.T.F? This is not it. Zee news was showing live pictures of a man under whose surveillance this shit happened, he was heading the group of rioters. Cops were all around the place, supposedly trying to get everything under control, but did not arrest that man standing right next to them. May I ask, why?

To me, you wanan fight against Zee news, go fight. But fight against all the cars parked out side their office on the road, which leaves no room for people to walk on the footpath as well as on the road and hence difficult for the cars passing by the road to clear that area. Your party leader owns a publication; write an article on wrong things which these news channels are doing in turf of their programs like Sansani and Dial 100 and what not!

Tell us 7 good reasons why people should not celebrate V-Day. Don’t tell me just because it’s not an Indian thing. Even Father’s day, mother’s day etc is not a brain child of India. Forget that, Mumbai railway is not an Indian brain child. If you against “Foreign” things, I suggest;

1.) You should stop traveling by local train. Will you do that?

2.) Tell your party high command to travel by BEST bus, and not by Honda’s, Merc’s, Lexus …….

3.) Do you guys even know how many cabs and auto rickshaws we have in Mumbai? I think we don’t need more than N number of auto’s and cabs. What we have is N*N*N*N*N… autos and cabs, just making road traffic go haywire. You wana do something good, here’s a very big opportunity.

4.) Come up with a system, where you need a visa to enter Mumbai. I am sick of all bhaiya’s and other people dumping them in here thinking they would make it big.

5.) Stop wasting my money which I pay as tax every year on painting you party offices.

6.) Get a life, get yourself educated. Learn how to speak in public rather en breaking everything up that comes on “your” way.

7.) If you don’t understand what am saying you surely not a mumbai-ite.

Tell me if you need my help, I am ready to make my city a better place.

P.S.(like this will help me) These are my personal views and it has nothing to do with people visiting my blog/ listed in this article or listed on my blog. I have nothing personal against the said political party, this is what I think, feel and since it’s my online journal I have all rights to post my views on my space.

welcome nemo

2006-02-13T16:10:00.000+05:30

Wana meet a national level gymnast? Click here.

With this post I welcome my budd, Monisha AKA moni AKA nemo to the world of blogging

Welcome nemo :).

Eminem's prayer

2006-02-08T14:37:00.000+05:30

It has lost its sound
That just wana make me frown
Oh god, now I know u also think m a fuckin clown

No matter how hard I try
No matter how much I cry
It just plays with my brain
Never makes be believe I can fly

Why is it always u?
Do u think what I feel is never true?
Is it the selfishness?
Or it is as good as it gets?

It makes me live for u
It gives me morning blues
Wonder if there are any laws
I feel like getting them sued

Yeh, I am complaining I want a piece of bliss
I want it to be ceased
I want its sound back
No …. not just for my ego sake
This feeling is not fake
I wana make it great
Oh god … I hope u get it straight!

Change of topic

2006-02-03T15:03:00.000+05:30

No don’t think I am moving away from the “wedding woos”. Its just that my relatives have become more creative and innovative…

The same topic … new comments

“What happened to you???” (I have cancer)

“I never new you are so fashion conscious!” (Well now you do)

“Is that real?” (You scare me)

“I can not believe my eyes” (I know an eye specialist, get you the best deal)

“OHH MY GOD!” (I know, by the way which god you believe in?)

“WOW, That’s cool!” .. in really husky voice … (Would you stop flirting with me, you are married and your husband is my mother’s sister’s in-law’s sons son?;-P)

“You have gone mad” (Finally, you know the truth)

“I must tell your mom, this is looking so bad” (You are not a school teacher, are you?)

“Behenji, aap biryani nahi kha rahe hai?” (Bastard!!!)

“Is that your style or your girl friends choice!!!???” (Stop guessing and appreciate the new look)

“Are you really that busy?” (Why you wana ask me out?)

“Dhoni style,, huhh?” (You Indians don’t like to play any other game, that’s sad)

“John Abrahim!” (Thanks for the compliment!)

“Thoda haju nana hate toh tame Arujn Rampal lagte” .. read:A bit short in length would have made you look like Arjun Rampal. (Critics always welcome)

“I envy your hair” (I envy your house)

Yes, all those comments are in reference to my new hair style. Or can I say I like challenging them?

Was at a wedding yesterday and everyone … trust me everyone in the list includes all aunties too were not interested in asking the usual question “So when are we attending your wedding?”

And the credit goes to my new hair style. Its called relaxing … so it’s not very straight and not very curly. It’s bouncy and wavy. (I think there should be a better way to get these hair styles done ... Hair dressers should not expect everyone to sit for four hours at a stretch)

Pics later...

Wedding wedding in the air..

2006-01-30T16:57:00.000+05:30

At marriages, all old aunties come up to me and say “u r next, u r next” and at every funeral I walk up to them n say “u r next u r next”.

You are 25 years old and under a lot of pressure from your parents to get married. Till now you have been avoiding the discussion by making excuses like.. “no mom, I still have to settle down in life .. no dad, see I am at a lower management level, now, if I can spend some more time at office I will become Sr. Manager soon” et al.

But come winter and (also known as “marriage season”), you just can not avoid the topic. Your attendance to atleast one marriage function is mandatory, where you meet uncles and aunties from across the globe of different sizes and shapes. They all seem to have a common concern for you “So beta, when are U getting married?” There was no guessing what happened when I attended one of my cousins wedding a few days back.

This time around at the wedding my mom frequently called me saying.. “Son meet so and so and she is their daughter, so and so”. And each time I had this “Lost in the wonder land” expression on my face. First looking at my mother saying “Maa, am interested in no girl from this place”. And then looking at the girl giving a Joey’s “How u doin?” looks ;). Time n again I have told Mom not to look out for a potential “Bahu” for herself. But meri sunn ta kaun hai!

But I was wrong; this time god himself came to my rescue. An uncle of mine unknowingly broke my spectacles. Initially I got very pissed at him, later on confiding that mom has stopped calling me ever since my dear uncle broke my glasses (Oh, does that mean I don’t look presentable with out specs? Have never checked it but I must soon, but how?.. without specs!). Anyways.

So after the wedding, while returning home ..

Mom: Did u see that girl? She is so pretty no?
Me: no
Mom: But I saw u staring at her!
Me: ….. (How should I explain Mom that I can’t see things standing in front of me without my specs?)

Moral of the story: God does help needy people (we always find excuses to any and every damn thing)

Vande Matram

2006-01-27T17:28:00.000+05:30

During The Attack on Akshardham temple on 24th September 2002 this Brave Man fought the greatest battle of his life. Yes he was the N.S.G. Commando Late Mr. Surjan Singh, who sacrificed his life for the Nation. Sadly On 19th May 2004 he lost the Toughest and Longest battle against life exactly after 600 Days being in Coma, he lost this life.

The Bullet which hit him in the head made him Unconscious for almost 600 days. His family members were hoping that one day their Hero will open his eyes but he didn't.

It was the Longest Wait for the family members of this Brave Man.

When the whole India was busy in Guessing Who will be the Next PM of the country - Will it be Sonia or will it be Manmohan Singh, This man was fighting his Last battle. But it's so sad that in the hype of all the Political Drama, the News about his Death was Lost like a needle in a hay stack! Even the leading News Papers & So Called Best News Channels of India which Works on 24 X 7 basis, failed to highlight this story of the Brave Man. Unfortunately it was mentioned somewhere on the middle page of some newspaper.....This was the Reward for the Brave task for which he lost his life.

Besides his Family members, only one thing was there with him during those toughest 600 days. It was there near his bed till the last Moment. Can you guess what it was?............... It was the "Tiranga", yes! Our National Flag, which was saluting him for his Great cause. Absolutely No words can suffice our Gratitude towards him...
I salute his Bravery.

What can not be cured, has to be endured

2006-01-23T12:50:00.000+05:30

Last week I saw Zinda. I kinda liked the movie. Apart from all the questions that came up to my mind, over all the direction, cinematography etc is excellent. Hats of to the director.

There is one particular song in the movie called “Yeh meri kahani”, what a sexy song, I liked that the most. Lyrics of the song are just amazing. Before watching the movie this is what I had thought the story of the song would be like. It’s just an attempt and I know that what I have written is no where close to the actual story.

No no this is not pain,
These are just my feelings
Running through my veins
Mixed with blood
Pumping up my heart
Choking up the brain

Why? Why? Why? Am I like this?
Is it just me or sum power of my clone
That makes me believe …she will never be gone,
On a dining table … while having food and classic wine
She will break the silence,
And will tell me that am all hers and she is all mine

Oh lord.. care to hear my question.
Care replying back,
I need your attention,
My life is going off the track,

What to do with this pain?
Mixed with the blood .. going up to my brain,
Trying to cut the vein,
Letting go off the pain,
Looking at the act she goes “how will I sustain?”

Oh god .. I don’t know what to pause
Where to cut it off
U think time will show me the way
Till then should I just carry on?

Banoonga mein Minister India

2006-01-19T14:32:00.000+05:30

I am on leave so I am allowed crack really pathetic joke!

Ok that didn’t make sense but its ok.

So the joke is like…

Our own Mr. Santa singh is all set to travel to London for the first time in his life. All excited he reaches the airport 4 hours before the departure. At the check-in counter he asks the lady, “mam, may I know the model number of the air craft?”. The lady at the counter all eager to share the information, replies back saying “sure Sir, Y not. It is Boing 747”.

Papaji all overjoyed knowing the fact that he will be traveling by BOING 747. Time comes when all passengers are asked to board the flight. Mr. Santa also jumps in the air craft. Now the flight is all ready to take off, and all of a sudden Santa starts shouting “BOING BOING BOING”. Hearing this, pilot gets bugged, he comes out and shouts back “BE SILENT”.

So Santa says “ok, sorry Pilotji”. And en again starts shouting “OING OING OING”.

;).

Its not the case with only Sardars. Trust me. Don’t believe me read on…

On 17th and 18th of Jan 2006, ya that is yesterday and day before I was at IAMAI conclave. Over all it was fun being there. Got a chance to meet a lot of people from within the industry and from out side the industry.

The star attraction of the event was Mr. Dayanidhi Maran, Honorable Minister of Communications & Information Technology, India. He is a very smart person. I also hear that he is a Harverd Grad. To a great extend he has a vision as to what should be done to take the country’s Comm. And IT industry above USA’s and UK’s (I do not understand the funda of comparison!). But I guess due to certain frame work and resistance from the government he is not able to implement his ideas as efficiently as he would want.

Now it so happens that, Mr. Neville Taraporewalla, Director & Country General Manager, Yahoo India calls upon Mr. Minister on the stage. He introduces Mr. Minister by giving some background info etc etc. And en he calls upon Mr. Minister to say “a few words” and give his point of view on the topic of discussion. So with all goody goody smile he stands in front of the mic and starts his speech by saying “I would like to thank Mr. Neville, Director and Country General Manager, AHOO India.....................”.

Ohh yes, AHOO India and not YAHOO India. And I just couldn’t control my laughter. No I am no saying am “the dude”. I am thepla, I am gujju, I make more mistakes en anyone else in this world, but its just funny hearing something like this. Nobody here requested Mr. Minister to “BE (or y) silent” but it just happened!

I have no intention of making fun of any of our minister, especially Comm and It minister coz he is the one who will be able to take this industry and country to a new age era and will give us higher bandwidth so called “broadband connection”.(when I say broadband, I mean anything above 2 MBPS, 24x7). But it’s just funny for first few minutes.

It’s like names where “h” is silent, Niles, Dharmes, Jignes…………the list is long.

Thank god my name doesn’t end with “h” ….

Westside train life

2006-01-06T14:29:00.000+05:30

As u all know I don't copy stuff .. i get inspired ...

Tune: Mack 10 - Westside Foe life

U got .. ghaatis on the left … bhaiyas on the right
bhaiyas always stink … Ghaati’s always fight
Do what u gotta do .. gujjus keep it tight
But make em understand and hold on to ur seat very tight

X rated India’s most faded, talking bout Mumbai’s local train
Where ya find people from all places, theres no age .. no cast constrain
It keeps running … no matter if it sunny or it rains
Carries 4.5 million people a day … doesn’t matter if u “bhai” or “behen”
So fellas .. u betta get ur hands dirty
U wana save time, use dis transport .. avoid d traffic and strain
Save some money, just jump onto the train

So what if ….
Chorus
U got .. ghaatis on the left … bhaiyas on the right
bhaiyas always stink … Ghaati’s always fight
Do what u gotta do .. even if gujjus keep it tight
But make em understand and hold on to ur seat very tight

Maka pao, train mein tum jab jayega..
make sure, koi fight kar na payena,

anna & bong, train mein kaiko tum jata,
jata toh tumhara pet kam kar ke jata
Coz remember this, u not the only one who’ll be boarding
Along with.. there will be a lot of people getting poured in

Sirdies. U the one who’ll understand
No no .. I don’t believe in the “12 o’clock” trend

So what if…
Chorus
U got .. ghaatis on the left … bhaiyas on the right
bhaiyas always stink … Ghaati’s always fight
Do whatt u gotta do .. gujjus keep it tight
Let all understand this and better get it right

All right, so I got a chance to raise my voice
Think this, what if u had no other choice
Anyways .. gas prices are so bloody high
To add to that .. autos and cabs always wana fly
Autos wana zip .. cabbies wana crib
BMC wana dig .. dumpers make u feel sick
Do what u gota do … fellas u get my sayin right?

Ya gotta "Burn the Roads"

2006-01-04T18:03:00.000+05:30

Driving fast could be injurious to your wallet. Don’t trust me take a look at it yourself.

This car was on its way to Lonavla a few years ago just to meet an accident. Luckily none of the passengers got hurt. Post that the owner thought of getting the car modified in the most unusual way (well at least in 2002 people used to consider it as unusual here in India).

He not only spends unbelievable amount to get the car modified but also gets a damn sexy music system installed. Take a look at yourself (ok forgive him for he not removing the cover from the side while clicking the trunk)

Engine of this car has not been modified, however the gear ratio has been changed. A very hot noisy exhaust has been installed. Air intake has been increased for better performance; it does 0 – 100 in 9.2 seconds (come on it’s not a Ferrari or Beemer, oh man did I say I just LOVE BM 6 series!). Very recently the car also got a new MOMO steering wheel. (You know the small steering wheels you get!)

Two and a half years ago, the dude also thought of calling for a new amplifier for his two 12 inches pioneer 305 subwoofer. So in the beginning of 2004, he ordered Audiobahn A4801T. In the pic it looks little dull but its got amazing lazar cut design on it and is surrounded by white neon lights. It also has Infinity 6.5" Components * 2 (front & rear) and to pump music into all these cones it has Pioneer 7750 head unit.

Some may think “So big deal?!”. But to get something like this done much before it becomes a craze is commendable. And for that I respect you ma bro (yes, that’s not my car ;)).

let me "pakao" you

2006-01-02T15:11:00.000+05:30

Music: Mr. Lahiri
Tune: Kaalio ka chaman
Lyrics: Mr. Paras Mehta
Category: Paras's Joke
Target Audience: Hindi speaking "lukkhas" from across the glob, 20+, M/F.
Objective: Educating the potential consumer

This song is dedicated to my dear agency fellows and the CEO of my company (Sir, Do u know how monotonous we and our work have become?)

Campaign jabhi live jaata hai,
Campaign jabhi live jaata hai,
pahele pitching hota hai .. client convincing hota hai,
phir plan ban ta hai aur rates dalta hai,

Ohh ohho Ohh ohho Ohh ohho ahh

Campaign jabhi live jaata hai,
pahele creatives ban te hai,
ussmein changes hote hai,
phir landing page banta hai .. ussmein content dalta hai,

Ohh ohho Ohh ohho Ohh ohho ahh

Campaign jabhi live jaata hai,
pahele order banta hai,
phir flights bante hai,
ussmein start date dalta hai aur end date bhi lagta hai,

Ohh ohho Ohh ohho Ohh ohho ahh

Campaign live kar ne ko,
AdManager configuration hota hai,
phir "Ad Tag" bannta hai,
woh publisher ko jata hai .. woh site pe dalta hai,

Ohh ohho Ohh ohho Ohh ohho ahh

Campaign jabhi site pe live hota hi,
banners serve hote hai,
CTR* count hota hai,
phir optimization hota hai,
usse paise jyada milte hai,

Ohh ohho Ohh ohho Ohh ohho ahh

Campaign end date hote hi,
publishers phone karte hai .. payment puch te reh te hai,
Client delay karta hai,
par phir payment release karta hai.

heheheh ... kidding fellows, we know how much we love this industry.

*CTR = Click through rate.

Confessions of kid

2005-12-27T13:57:00.000+05:30

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year. "Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday." Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you.
Your friend Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK "boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!
Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad. "Just be home in time for dinner," Bobby's mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Bobby began to write his letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS.
Cheers

know you .. know me

2005-12-26T15:48:00.000+05:30

I know you understand me
When I tell you... Baby, I know we are “good friends”
Our friendship is like “this has no end”

We’ve always been there for each other when needed
We’ve understood each other for every act of ours
The time we’ve spent together … gypsy in the car
The need for talking to each other when we are 7000 miles apart
The moments we shared … the games we played
The fights we had … the tears we shed
The sorrys and thankyous … the gifts you bought me saying “this is ONLY for you”
The thicks and the thins… we managed to pass thru them by all means

Would you understand me?
If I tell you … lady, at the cost of risking our friendship
I would want to tell u a few things

When I’m with u I find my place in this universe, a sense of belonging
It’s like no pain can ever touch me again
The cherished feeling of being wanted, loved and admired
U complete my existence and I wish for it to last forever

Do you feel the same?

My mind says...

2005-12-23T14:33:00.000+05:30

An insight into a girl's mind..ever thought what a beautiful lady wud day dream of?

Heres a sneak peek

i wanna go on a holiday
sunny beach, warm sand
cool mocktails, with fancy umbrellas
imagine this
walking along the damp beach in the evening while the sun sets
yeah i would like to day dream like this
or u know where other place i wouldn’t mind?
in a Swiss ski lodge while it snows outside and am drinking hot chocolate by a roaring fire
actually anywhere u go u need good company
one of the best trips i've had was matheran with cousins and friends
sometimes i feel u dont need camera... just a hassle ... but then when u look back at old snaps its like all ur memories are savored into that one photograph

Here I am..

2005-12-20T17:19:00.000+05:30

All right people, here it is. Finally I managed to take some time out from my not so busy schedule to create an online diary for myself.

I have never ever in my life written anything other en exam papers so really don’t know what to say. But the fact that I have created a space for myself here indicates that I have a lot to share with you beautiful people.

Background check:
Name: Paras Mehta/ paro/ bewa/ bew
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Height: 180 cm.
Occupation: Advertising Professional

Ok enough that looks like am registering myself with some matrimony site :).

Last year around when one of my close friends, Arun launched his blog, in his first post he wrote things bout himself, his likes & dislikes. That made me wonder, y does he have to write bout himself on his blog when only his friends r gona visit the page. Little did I know that we are not the only “lukkhas” in this world..

So here is the list of things I dislike;
1.) Reading books
2.) Disturbed state of mind
3.) …

Things I like;
1.) My Family ( Maa, dad, sis I love u all)
2.) My friends
3.) Drag racing .. yeh I love the smell of burning rubber
4.) Computer games .. again mainly car racing
5.) Women .. (no m not a Casanova)

Ya, so more or else am like any other normal human being.

I can not believe that I wrote so much today. That’s like an over dose for me. So time for me to push off from here now.

Till en,
Adios